The ASH Files

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Episode 2: "Ha ! ... the first indeed..."

Flossy responds to Janssen's story - by Floss the boss...

Character, my foot, tickle yourself, why don’t you. I could say more, I could say worse, but at the end of the day I’m rather fond of the old boy myself and although I know I could have been the first one to write, I gladly left it to Janssen.

The oldest canine, or hound to be more precise is I, although I haven’t lived here as long as some of the others. Born on June the sixth 1990 I joined ASH in May 1994. For a Basset Hound I have reached the age of the very strong, (head strong that is!) and I don’t intend to quit now, especially with Christmas around the corner! .... Oh I just love the lights, the visitors, the tree, the prezzies, the smells and most of all the leftovers; leftovers... I just can’t wait until they are left !

What a great time Christmas is. I know I was told not to mention the word till well after Halloween - this Halloween thing - not much fun though for animals, with the "bang, bang", "trick o’ treat", "bang bang" ... can anyone explain what I’m missing here? its noisy, there is no food to speak of, sure we might as well skip it all together.

"The Boss" is what they call me and I deserve it! I have always made sure to behave in such a way that it wouldn’t feel right to send me to a new home. I like my Wicklow Hills (Remi and Helena always say "Wicklow Mountains", that is because I have heard it said that Holland is as flat as a pancake, hence Helena’s obsession with the things). I hate children and mark my words, I would ‘ve taken a few fingers off to get that message across had the need ever arisen!

Just to leave nothing to chance I always manage to have a little accident when there are people around, a little puddle works wonders and a few smelly bombs usually settles it - I AM THE BOSS !!!. Flossy came here to stay, make no bones about it. Not as agile and able as in the old days I still go out once is a while, to feel the sun on my butterfly ... did I tell you about my butterfly? I will ask them to take a pic of it, so much easier than explaining, thank the Lord for digital cameras.

Speaking of which, last Sunday this party went round the place to take pictures of the new arrivals. Since the weather was so good, I decided to stroll along with them to the far kennel block and give them the pleasure of my wonderous company. When we all started our way back to the house the downhill lane seemed steeper than before and I couldn’t help gathering some speed; when we came to the gate my legs went rather out of control and ba-ba-boom, off I went, rolling down the hill sideways .... I hurt more than just my ole back I can tell you ... pride is a great thing. Mind you, I try not to be over sensitive, I hear them referring to me as the ‘Old Fart’, the ‘Grumpy Old Bitch’ and similar, not in a nasty way now, I believe them to be ‘terms of endearment’, and I know at the end of the day they need their old "boss" to keep them all in line !

We all have to add something new to this "ash files" thing, so this is my contribution. Helena has explained that we cannot write about people what we like, there seem to be legal implications there, so here is my idea, why not give people a different name? ... and THEN we can say what we like !!!

I will reveal one - there is this volunteer who recently brought us Ernie, the pheasant who got his behind damaged by a car. We (i.e. the ash animals) refer to him as ‘Uncle’. So Uncle gave us this story about the ‘fastest milkman of the West’ being called Ernie, we dont have a clue what he is on about, nor what it has to do with a pheasant with a bald arse? (ahem, please excuse my French). Can anybody shed some light there please, is there anybody out there who may have had the same milkman or who has heard about him and about what happened to his neither region?

Please forgive me if I don’t feel quite up to saying much about my dear friends Basil and Megan, I loved them too much to be able for it, they will not be forgotten ever, I know I will join them at some time in the future.

Talk to you soon,

Flossy.